Funny. I was at Jeffrey Gitomer’s live event in Milwaukee with my good friend Brian Kelm and Jeffrey mentioned PLEASURE and PAIN.

PAIN is the old-school selling tactic. Who wants to find the pain? NO ONE. (unless you’re a doctor) Pain is negative. Who wants to find pleasure? EVERYONE. Where would you rather be right now….in PAIN in the dentist chair or having the PLEASURE of sitting in Hawaii sipping a Mai Tai?

When you focus on the PAIN, you bring about a negative perception of yourself. Questions like “What have you seen with BAD _____ in the past?” and “What would happen if ______ didn’t show up on your wedding day?”  puts the bride in a state of confusion, denial and possible panic. Pain leads her down a dark path of negative thoughts, stress, and anxiety.

Why would you want to put these emotions on her in one of the happiest (yet sometimes most stressful) times of her life?

Instead, focus on the PLEASURE of the entire experience and what your customer is receiving from you. NOTE: Paint yourself as the ANSWER, not just a solution. When you provide THE ANSWER, you are the only one who can deliver it to her, thereby earning you the sale.

The same is true about you in your daily life. What do you focus on? The French mathematician Rene Descartes said, “I think; therefore I am.” If you surround yourself with positive thoughts, people and emotions you will live a positive life. Of course, the reverse is true as well. One can be thrown TONS of obstacles in life. My good friend Sean “Big Daddy” McKee has dealt with bouts of cancer for quite some time now…undergoing countless treatments and yet he has never given up.

Not only has he never given up…he’s maintained a work schedule that even self-proclaimed workaholics such as myself can’t even hold a candle to. Big Daddy is ALWAYS working…not just in his business…but always to put a smile on someone’s face…always making new friends and constantly remaining a positive influence and inspiration to everyone’s lives that he touches. He is a person we would ALL do well to emulate in life. How does he do this? I called him recently to understand the history of Big Daddy and what makes him tick.

In 1993 Big Daddy was at a crossroads, living life with no self-esteem and in a marriage with someone he loved but knew they weren’t destined to be married to. One day he finally came to the decision that his life’s purpose is to make people smile…and in order to do that he had to be happy with himself first. Big Daddy has gone through 5 years of chemo treatment and radiation. His first week of chemo treatments found him in the hospital for three straight days and then in house treatment 12 hours after he was released. Immediately thereafter he had 5 events to perform in 48 hours.

For most mortal men that feat would be IMPOSSIBLE. Not for my good friend Big Daddy.

Sure he felt like he was on his deathbed at the start of that 5th event but when the music started and he says the beaming faces of his bride and groom he turned it on and lived for the smiles on his clients’ faces. His clients didn’t have to know that with every step he took it felt like every bone in his body would break. It’s not about him. It’s about THEM.

Big Daddy’s advice to us all is NOT to focus on the news. The world sucks and he weeps for the future. In our personal lives, every day is a GIFT…you are blessed with what you have in this life. It’s simply a CHOICE you make. You can’t live your life negatively you must live your life POSITIVELY. Live life for TODAY. No one is promised tomorrow. He believes fully that he was put on this earth to make people’s lives easier and to bring smiles to their faces. He’s a friend to many and he’s an inspiration to people in his life.

If you EVER have the chance to meet Big Daddy…do it. Like Jeffrey, he pulls no punches but he’s got big ears (always willing to listen), an amazing mind (always looking for the positive)  and the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. We as a people need to STOP focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. We would all do well to emulate this amazing individual. Happy clients (and people) are waiting to cross your path too.

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